Caleb's Guide to Growth
A friend and I once sat down to record a conversation, and a most remarkable story came out of the experience … about how Caleb found his way to emotional maturity, the abridged version:
I'm Sorry.
Caleb tried to convert a friend, his friend told him not to even try it … and we’re all susceptible to this behavior; or at least those of us raised under capitalism, and/or Christianity, are moreso.
We’re all supposed to see the benefits of capitalism, and that is all that there is, right?
We want people to be like us, we think people would be better if they were like us; but that’s not how the world works.
When we are able to recognize and accept this, we begin a process of self-differentiation.
If other people can be different, so can we.
Mistakes are no longer condemnations, but rather opportunities to acknowledge our fallibility, and consequently highlight our capacity for growth.
Which can be a frightening challenge.
I'm really sorry!!
Caleb grew up near me, though went to the adjacent school of Wayzata.
At University, I roomed with someone from Armstrong; and it was the first time that I’d heard a white person use the n-word as though it was appropriate for them to do so.
Apparently it was normalized in Caleb’s high school experience, and it wasn’t until his later years that he realized that white people aren’t supposed to be using that word, at all.
It is experiences such as these which fortify our humility, and perhaps our gratitude.
We can have the best of intentions, the best heart, the most aware mind … and still have tragic blind spots.
It’s only human. We can still learn, it’s only human
OMG, that's amazing! Thank you!
Later in Caleb’s life, a whole new idea was presented, and certainty was nowhere to be found.
This was perhaps a test.
Though instead of recoiling, Caleb chose to receive; on the path to self-actualization, Caleb recognized that someone else’s choices begin, and end, with them, no judgement needed.
By implementing the lessons of humility Caleb’s world was able to grow.
The bearer of this new world was struggling with their own identity, and this struggle was new to Caleb; though again, instead of recoiling, Caleb allowed the opportunity to open up whole new possibilities of being and imagining, rather than shutting down the diversity of life.
Growth is the consequence, because innovation is inevitable, in such situations.
In order to grasp anything new, the mind and heart must expand; and once changed, they can never return to their previous form.
So by being open to change, and going through the obstacles of errors, we actually expand our world; while the fallacy of perfection prevents us from growing.
Though first we need to be honest with ourselves about our mistakes.
Putting it all together
And this is what we get when we combine Manifesting Empathy and Diversity Inverted; an opportunity to see the strengths, and weaknesses, both within ourselves, and within the communities of all identities, not just those here covered.
The purpose of Manifesting Empathy is not to build a shield of pity parading as compassion; but rather to realize which labels can be attached to our identity, and the identities of others, and how these labels can be perceived and received by various people, and ourselves.
In this way, we don’t become offended when someone makes an assumption; we’ve processed this possible perspective, likely because we’ve seen it before, and had cause to consider it.
And so, we have an idea of how we’d like to respond – with foresight for the future in mind.
What this is all leading to, is having a better comprehension of self, in order to have a greater confidence in listening to our own intuition.
By being able to create alignment with (1) what we see, hear and sense with (2) a basic framework and a few pillars that we can understand … we are better able to evolve our internal dialogue about these topics, and so, evolve our decision making.